I Want Out!!! š„
by Sanela K. Jan. 29, 2021
"I want out!
To do things on my own!
I want out!
To live my life and to be free!" š§āāļø
I Want Out
If this blog is about my daily ups and downs, I would say that currently the "downs" are kinda winning. š
It was a bit difficult for me to stay sane even before Covid and these lockdowns... So, imagine how it must be for me now. š¤¦āāļø
In my mind are only those words: "I want out."
Which reminds me also of time period from years ago, when I wanted to escape that Christmas and the whole relationship with my ex boyfriend back then. (Just scroll back in my blogs and you are gonna find a story, if this is your first reading of it š).
With every new day lately I always have less and less nerves, hope, good moods and positive thoughts.
This lockdown has made me lazy, not productive at all. I am depressed, much less tolerant, and I feel completely alone.
I truly miss deep conversations. I truly miss someone who would understand me, someone I could talk to. I gave that up. Oh, wait, shrink?? No.
Some people really think here are roses and other flowers growing in my life while I feel totally lost. š
Well, what does she have to complain about??? She is 27 and wearing the best boots ever!
Well, only those 2 things are true. I am 27 and I do really wear the best boots ever. Other things in my life, people must look a bit deeper. But they don't want to. Some of them also think that there are only roses in my life. š
Lately I am thinking how I became so lazy to even dress myself up. As I always was someone with "weird" style and fashion combinations and always totally super dressed up, My unique fashion style is my trademark for me now.
Like my good friend once said: "there are fashions that nobody would ever wear, but you. And really, only you can." š
She was right. It was always like that š
But now I am kinda spending my days in pajamas.... without makeup or anything.
Well, I think it's a sign of depression.
As I don't have anyone to share my depression with, I am whining here, to you!!!
Well, if you have known what this blog is gonna be about, you would probably skip it, but TOO LATE. š
You are already drowned in my drama!!! š
I also had a nice idea of starting a fashion online shop here but guess what???????? CORONA IS MAKING IT IMPOSSIBLE!
In my current job (maybe it is harsh to say) I am only losing my nerves and wasting my talents and possibilities. š But I am helping out a nice person who needs assistance. So Thank God for that!
Sometimes it is hard to handle all my little voices screaming that we are on a totally wrong path in life. š£
And they also say: "don't shoot the messengers!"
Oh, I wanna shoot those voices, you have no ideal! š
And I wanna scream. Scream so loud. And break stuff.
Sanela, the stuff breaker! š
Because there is no heart I wish to break.
To see more videos of Sanela's Adventures in Thigh Boots go to the Leviticus Fashions YouTube channel : https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCN8FNLtdob_AKkErNok5_eg
To support The Justice Project go to : www.thejusticeproject.net
To purchase Leviticus Fashions boot designs go to : www.leviticusfashions.com/mydesigns
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