Human

I screwed up. We all screw up though, every now and then. Error is human, right? It is, and God has unwavering grace that allows us all to have our millions upon millions of second chances. However, I could’ve sworn that we were supposed to strive to be better after being handed forgiveness time and time again. I thought we, as a species, were better than that. But just like Adam and Eve, we too fall from grace.

I’m going to tell you something that you most likely aren’t going to be surprised by: I’m really bad with money, borderline awful. I had an opportunity to get the nicer thing with the self-assured “better deal.” I took it. It was the foolish thing to do with the expenses I had at the time, but I did it anyway. We tend to look the other way when want becomes need. I wasn’t thinking of what I might need that money for later down the road. Sitting there at the airport, desperately praying to get on a flight that was already full, I was realizing what I could’ve used that money for. Now, because of my actions, I may not make it to work. Did I learn my lesson? I did. I’m still paying for it actually. Turns out I wasn’t meant to make it to work that day. I may not ever understand why, but I’m still going to trust in Him because He does and will always know what is best for me. I relate to the lyrics from Lauren Daigle’s song, Trust in You, so much right now. I learned a pretty monumental lesson from this. I can’t just expect to fly by the seat of my pants through life. My commute to and from work became routine, and I got comfortable. I forgot to consider the possibility of a certain seasonal ritual disrupting my regular commute to work; Spring Break.

So I set off on my journey back to my base after it became apparent to me that I would not be getting on any of the flights. Not only did I get lost a million and one times, but I missed my final flight to my overnight BY FIVE MINUTES. I waived buh-bye to my per diem as I watched the door to my flight close. Because of my careless spending, I am now in debt to my parents for a rental car and I still didn’t make it to work on time! Awesome. More money that I don’t happen to have. So error is human? Yep. Now once more for the people in the back. ERROR IS HUMAN!

Between the hospital bills and school loans, the debt only seems to exacerbate. Nicely done Kristina, and for what? A pair of designer glasses. Side note: I sort of really hate having to wear glasses and yet I just had my debt expanded because of said glasses. Pretty ironic, am I right?

Always prepare for the ever-present possibility of the routines in your life experiencing change. I’ve started to finally notice the slight shaking of my universe that God sends me the moment I begin to get comfortable. It can be quite the blow at times, this experience included, but I can only go up from here. I will only continue to grow into the woman that God meant for me to be. And for that, I am grateful for my failures.